Wireless what?

We don't yet live in a wireless word. The view of the telephone wires outside the AT&T store, sweeping dramatically down Monroe Avenue is proof enough of that. Looking at them now, they strike me as oddly old-fashioned, holdovers from another era... 

Inside the AT&T store, the clerks have many suggestions about how Allison can prevent her smartphone from clandestinely using Wi-Fi connections EVERYWHERE to find her location, lock onto it, continually run a bunch of apps she definitely doesn't need, then bill her for more data usage. During the months of November and December, while we were driving around the United States, her data spiked—up to 4 GB, compared to her usual usage of about 2 per month. I couldn't really get a coherent explanation as to why that would be—increased use of Google maps, apparently, and other apps you otherwise might not use (like Gas Buddy) that suck up data behind the scenes. 

Allison keeps telling me I "need" a smartphone lately. Especially when we go to Asia. I am gradually beginning to agree. Stubbornly resisting change, thinking of oneself as an iconoclast—these are things that appeal to me, but perhaps occasional acquiescence is necessary. Meet the world on ITS terms, not merely your own—this is the way to understand it, and be affective within it—I hope.

At the very least, soon I will have a hilarious Snapchat feed.

Here, enjoy this picture of Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump, a preposterously tiny Michael Bloomberg, and Bill Clinton playing golf together. If anyone needs me, I'll be scrolling Bernie Sanders' Dank Meme Stash on Facebook for the rest of the night, counting down the hours to Caucus Night in Iowa. 

They have your best interests at heart, really.